faith journey

i am going to take a moment to be very open and vulnerable in this blog to share what God is working on in my life. Over the past year or so, I have been introduced to Beth Moore, a woman who writes bible studies for women on various topics. The study I am doing now, I called "Believing God." to be honest, i have had this study since november, and just started the 4th week of the homework...

this season here at islandwood has been a year of new things for me, which have come at very quick paces and unexpected times. if you were to ask me in august what this year entailed for me, i probably would have said, "who knows." and thought, "only God knows." through it all, i prayed, trusted, and walked with faith.

my time in ecuador was a time in my life where God really had me on my own. He wanted to take me out of my normal life routines in the states, and get me on my own, where he could get my full attention with very minimal distractions. the first year, i was there on my own with no one my age (except people coming and going) and nothing to do except to read His word and reflect on the previous college years.

now, being back from ecuador not even a year, i was quickly emerged back into the states culture without much time to reflect or integrate my experience. to be honest, people dont really want to hear all the details, which is hard to accept...because you want to share. but at that time, i realized that it was a sweet time with God that only He would truly understand.

Now, i know that the experience He provided me with in Ecuador was used to prepare me for the ministry He has for me and Jared; which i am so thankful for. It is nothing short of a miracle that God led jared and i together and the paths he led us on to prepare us for our life together.

i have recently realized that being away from jared effects me more than i realize. it is very hard, but i have faith it is for a reason. i know that God is, and will always, work in our lives individually so we can be stronger together, rooted in the Lord.

so, back to Beth Moore...today, i listened to the week four message called, "Believing I am who God says I am." I have struggled with this for as long as I can remember. I have always been insecure in my body and appearance. I have searched for acceptance in everyone and everything else, except for God.

This year has been a journey in this acceptance. I knew that when Jared and I got married, I would have to deal with this, and thought I did before we were married...but that was just the tip of the iceberg. Today, God revealed His truths to me through His Word and I am choosing to believe God....that I am blessed, chosen, adopted, accepted, redeemed, and forgiven...all centered in His Love. The word accepted really hit me today. The only way I will become whole is through believing God, His truths, and realizing i have security in Christ, and nothing else.

As I reflect on this year, i realize that i have been going through a sifting season...to prepare me for the future. its like God is saying, "We have a place to go...and that stuff is not going with us." some things have to go. i need to take an inner view of myself, the sin, the selfishness, confess the things of the flesh, so the spirit can move in.

One theme that comes up over and over for me is faith...to walk in faith as my foot says. God has proven this over and over to me....and i need to continue walking....just with a lighter load. to get rid of the sinful baggage that i have been carrying, and get rid of it (just like i have been getting rid of my material stuff). there is no time for games, ya know? it is time for me to take responsibility and live in freedom.

i am thankful that God does not give up on us. that he is continually teaching and training and sifting us to righteousness.

Psalm 32

Blessed is he whose transgressions are forgiven,
whose sins are covered.
Blessed is the man whose sin the Lord does not count against him
and in whose spirit is no deceit.
When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long.
For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of the summer.
Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, "I will confess my transgressions to the Lord"--and you forgave the guilt of my sin.
Therefore, let everyone who is godly pray to you while you may be found; surely when the mighty waters rise, they will not reach him.
You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.
I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you....Many are the woes of the wicked, but the Lord's unfailing love surrounds the man who trusts in him. Rejoice in the Lord and be glad, you righteous; sing, all you who are upright in heart!"

thanks for reading, eileen